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eNotAlone public & private journals.
  1. What's new in this club
  2. memories , the sadism was comparable especially the threat to family and self.
  3. Today was another really unproductive day...I’ve been back on antidepressants for a week, completely unrelated to the split but hope they’ll keep me on an even keel. Couldn’t face doing anything or going out though. Horrible heavy feeling in my chest...thought I’d manage to escape that bit. I hope things open up again next month so I can distract myself somehow.
  4. Life will be more fair when men can have a baby come out their member and stay home for 30 years.
  5. Right? The average afghan is $200 to $1000 depending on the work and materials and time needed.
  6. I know. People have said to me about my beadwork, "Why don't you sell this? You could sell this!" I'm like, are you kidding me? Sure, if people were paying $3000 per necklace--no problem! But that's not what people are going to pay.
  7. Yeah, here the real estate market is way up. Good for sellers. Not so much for buyers.
  8. Yes you are lucky you didn't get a mortgage together.... It's always better to buy property solely in your name even if it's smaller (unless you are married for years etc etc). You don't want drama when it comes to serious life decisions.
  9. I wish I could make a business out of my crochet work but no one wants to pay for handcrafted which takes mountains of work when they can pay $20 for junk at Walmart.
  10. Thank Jibralta - when we last met I asked him to please carry on with looking after his mental health, but he says that he’s probably left it too late and that he’s broken. He’d be keeping me prisoner bla bla bla. Before the lockdowns we were talking about moving in together and he brought it up again just a few weeks ago....but a part of me could tell his heart wasn’t all in it. Thank goodness we didn’t start the mortgage application process! I now have £20k in savings that was to go towards the deposit...I guess I should look at places on my own but unfortunately it narrows the cho
  11. Maybe with this new change and move coming you could find something else ❤️ !!! Seriously, something that's easier on you.
  12. I hope you realize that it's not necessarily you. Not saying you're perfect, but it is very common for people to blame other people for the problems they are having. Then they align everything in their perception to reinforce that belief. When that happens, that's pretty much it for you. And it sucks. You have to remind yourself that every problem is fixable. Some people don't want to fix problems because it means they have to acknowledge their own failings. And they don't want to do that. I know it's crazy-making, but sometimes you just have to walk away and let them have their fantasy.
  13. Messaged a friend who responded later on at night. I didn’t tell her about the split yet, but I might call her at the weekend for a longer chat. Trying to resist the urge of messaging ex. I hate even calling him that. No idea what I even want to say, because I’ve done the pleading a million times before during break ups and it never works. Although I seem to superficially be taking this better than previous splits, the rejection is still there and I can’t help but wonder what is wrong with me. And why the men I date never seem to want to work things out together or communicate proper
  14. I get you I am just WREAKED after a day with the kids. I just can’t do a thing and need to sleep to even survive.
  15. Noise does it for me, too. Most especially the noise of people talking and interacting. My mom noticed it when I was a baby. I was generally very quiet and calm, and didn't cry much. A perfect baby, she said (especially as compared to my sister lol). But if my mom had guests over, say for Thanksgiving or Christmas, that noise and excitement would knock me off-kilter. I'd cry and be fussy for a couple days after. Then I'd return to peacefulness. I'm still like that a little bit, now. I go out to restaurants, and I go out and see friends and family, but I do find it draining to be around al
  16. It is entirely possible to have SPD without being Autistic. Many people with processing issues also have a lot of anxiety and of course anxiety causes meltdowns and avoidance behaviour. Get them to look again and see if he might have sensory processing issues. I have some myself , noise being one of them. Ironic since I work with young children. I have also explored/ exploring whether I am Autistic myself.
  17. There is magic in this world, it's called nature 🙂 Birkenhead (the town on the other side of the river) during sunset!
  18. Might as well send messages anyway. It might take them a while to respond, but you have a better chance of talking to someone sooner (rather than later) if you reach out now.
  19. Z has an appointment with her OBGYN today. She is three months into HRT and while it's working in a lot of respects, it's also causing some pretty bad side effects. I'm hoping the Doctor can help her resolve this. She wants them to lower the dose. It's not like it's causing any medical issues. But it's changed her personality and she's been depressed since starting on it. I'm still sick, stayed home today. I'm fortunate enough to have a job that is understanding when people are sick. Where I work would rather have someone stay home than come in and infect everyone there. I'v
  20. Oh yeah and one already has a black eye from last week from doing a flying face plant into the dollhouse.
  21. Don't worry about responding, I know you have your hands full! Sounds like a Baby War Zone... we've had a few of those from time to time. Always entertaining and terrifying. Like we've created an army of little people, and they're taking over! AHHHHhhhh!!!!!
  22. Refereeing a complete toddler war today including throwing cars and big toys at each other’s faces and across the room today. One at nap time decided to try and make himself naked . 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
  23. I’m struggling today. Stupidly let friendships slide during my relationship and now I don’t know how to approach them to reconnect. Ok, yes, I know sending a message would be the first step but there’s no guarantee they’ll answer and I need something in real time. Napped for two hours just to make the day pass quicker. Hate this hate this hate this.
  24. So, I was home sick yesterday from work and binge watched season 8 of Wentworth. There was a scene toward the end where a main character was slipped a large amount of Acid to get her to confess to a crime. I'm sure that's what triggered this dream. I dreamt last night that I was at a concert with my brother and a bunch of other people. This guy a few rows in front of us was selling acid and I bought two hits from him for $20. It was dark though so it took me a little bit to count out the money to give him. I had a bunch of singles. I gave one hit to my brother and then I was go

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