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  2. Maybe with this new change and move coming you could find something else ❤️ !!! Seriously, something that's easier on you.
  3. I think men do this for the same reason that women do it: they are multi-dating and not in a rush to settle down with any one person. When you see this happening, it's time to move on. Despite what they may say on their dating profile, despite how fun the dates were, a committed, long term relationship is not their priority.
  4. I think you answered your own question... when you had success your hubs and the other longer relationship, they clicked. The other things you're describing are when things don't instantly click. A click could come in the future, but sounds like your trying to force the connection because you're impatient and want a relationship. This is a dangerous mindset... From this approach you may connect your cart to a dysfunctional wagon. Not only harming yourself, but missing out on a better wagon. Find a way to be cool either way. I see dating as, I hope for a good time on the dat
  5. @Wiseman2 yes it is the same guy. Except 1) he doesn't really live with his ex. She's just kind of keeping a bedroom in the house as a negotiating tactic (to get money out of him) but she mostly lives at her boyfriend's and not, also doesn't do anything on the farm. 2) he didn't say he wanted casual. He did have that in his profile, and before we met I pointed it out and said that I am not interested in investing time and energy into getting to know someone if it's gonna be just casual and not leading anywhere. He replied that he wasn't actually looking for casual but given the diffi
  6. My ex and i dated for nearly 6 years, we had an extremely serious relationship where we were building towards marriage. He's been introduced to my family and vice versa, hes gotten close to my dad and everything. We've travelled the world together, and we were even living together for about 2 and a half years. Just the last 2 years of our relationship became a bit toxic because he started going down a dark path to do with wrong influence of friends, drugs and alcohol but i stayed by his side throughout even when he was not easy to love. My ex and I broke up in may 2020, actually he broke
  7. Today
  8. Excellent. Next time you want golf clubs or something she thinks "is insane", ask her permission first. What is she makes a fortune on these coins? Would that be your money?
  9. So I totally agree with this - but whether or not couples are working for money or working at being a full time parent or whatever it's a good idea to discuss that price point where you check in with each other before purchasing from your joint savings. Certainly if one parent is taking care of a child/children full time that parent is a partner, that person is contributing to the household income. I think daycare is inadvisable right now unless there are vaccines -parents who have to -of course! - but if not I would avoid daycare right now unless infection rates are really low (they are hi
  10. When I was 28 I was about to move out on my own for the first time after grad school. I was on top of the world -I am woman hear me roar. I met a guy through a personal ad in the early 1990s. So handsome, successful, Ivy league educated, only a few years older than me. We met for a picnic the first time. I ignored red flags. He was all over me in public. But you know I was going to be this single free wheeling independent gal. So the second time we met he invited me back to his place. I did tell him "no sex". And you know -clean cut/educated/successful. Lovely neighborhood and a
  11. I agree she is supporting YOUR career as well. She is not a child. She is a partner.
  12. If I was her I would get a job. Your daughter is entirely old enough for daycare.
  13. I hope you realize that it's not necessarily you. Not saying you're perfect, but it is very common for people to blame other people for the problems they are having. Then they align everything in their perception to reinforce that belief. When that happens, that's pretty much it for you. And it sucks. You have to remind yourself that every problem is fixable. Some people don't want to fix problems because it means they have to acknowledge their own failings. And they don't want to do that. I know it's crazy-making, but sometimes you just have to walk away and let them have their fantasy.
  14. Sometimes the thing you argue about is not the thing you're arguing about. To simply state no. it's an insane purchase. Sounds rather like a parent than a partner. You say that you supported her for 8 years. Is she not supporting you? I assume your house is clean, your food is bought and cooked, your clothes are clean, your child is cared for, your errands are run, etc... . All making it possible for you make your living. How much would it cost you to do these things, in either time or money? Until you show that you value her contributions to your lifestyle as much as you val
  15. Of course couples discuss that price point over which they will consult with each other before spending. I too think it's a ridiculous purchase. Would she be willing to meet with a financial advisor or counselor with you -an objective third party- who can explain what a financial risk this is? And sure if you were going to purchase expensive jewelry and she wants this instead well ok. My concern is she's being taken in by some sort of scam so I'd look into that too. And certainly you're entitled to tell her no she cannot work outside the home off site right now given covid risks. My husba
  16. It's an investment, like buying gold or bitcoin. If the money's there I'm not seeing a problem with it and I don't see it as being insane. Heck a gold bracelet with diamonds could easily cost twice that much. Do you buy her expensive jewelry?
  17. Yes, I’m aware she’s legally entitled to spend how she wants and that asking me first is an optional courtesy. No I do not ask her permission before making purchases. Given that I have (happily) supported her for the past 8 years I think the expectation that she run *large* purchases by me reasonable. Anyway if she had just went ahead and bought them I would still be posting this, the title would just be changed to Help, My Wife Spent $4k On 2 Coins
  18. It depends on your country/jurisdiction, but if you are legally married you are a legal and financial unit. That means all your assets belong to each other legally. It's bizarre she has to ask to use money that is legally hers You simply think it's a stupid thing to buy. Ok, but legally she should know she doesn't need your approval or permission, so it's just a courtesy to you to run this by you. Do you ask her permission to make purchases?
  19. I make a very good income as a software engineer while my wife takes care of our 1 year old daughter. We have a shared bank account and my wife can spend as she pleases but she will ask me if she wants to spend a lot of money on something. The other night she asked permission buy 2 commemorative coins (I don’t know much about them) for $2,000 each. I don’t consider myself cheap and am happy to buy expensive things but I can’t abide something so frivolous. Supposedly they increase in value over time but of course I told her absolutely not. She said ok but it’s been obvious since then that
  20. Messaged a friend who responded later on at night. I didn’t tell her about the split yet, but I might call her at the weekend for a longer chat. Trying to resist the urge of messaging ex. I hate even calling him that. No idea what I even want to say, because I’ve done the pleading a million times before during break ups and it never works. Although I seem to superficially be taking this better than previous splits, the rejection is still there and I can’t help but wonder what is wrong with me. And why the men I date never seem to want to work things out together or communicate proper
  21. Talk to some trusted family and friends about what is going on. Be as honest as you were here. Let friends and family know you are trapped in an emotionally and verbally abusive situation.
  22. So people DO get married in thier late 20s like the average in many countries. You're too pushy. That's why her family doesn't like you. Also she's sneaking around with you. Another reason this is going nowhere fast. You want things your way. Only your way. And you want your way now. Her parents aren't idiots. They know you threw that marriage line out there to get in her pants. Stop. Date other girls. Leave her and her family alone.
  23. You may want to consider having the marriage annulled since now you found out he's infertile and do not want to have a sperm donor or adopt or anything and you're angry because you wanted biological children.
  24. Sorry this happened. After one date, everyone is still talking to and meeting others. Don't take it personally. Who knows, she may be on/off with an ex, met someone, is dating around for now, whatever. Just keep talking to and meeting women. If they won't meet or stall like this, just pull back and move forward.
  25. Excellent post Lost. Tiny, alcoholism can affect anyone.
  26. I get you I am just WREAKED after a day with the kids. I just can’t do a thing and need to sleep to even survive.
  27. The problem is that you are unable to moderate your alcohol consumption, not that you hate moderation. I'm willing to bet that there are plenty of other activities that you enjoy doing, and that you don't compulsively, addictively engage in these other activities. You don't have any problem with moderation, as long as you don't have to moderate your use of alcohol. There is a lot on the line here. You aren't a single woman who will deteriorate and die alone and be forgotten. You have a husband and a child who will watch it happen. It could take 20 - 30 years for you to fully kill you
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