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Cherylyn

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Cherylyn last won the day on November 6 2020

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About Cherylyn

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  1. I agree, there are a lot of good men out there. Unfortunately, it's the bad men you don't know about who look normal, act good, behave publicly when witnesses abound and then there's always that one or more who will take advantage in a bad way should the opportunity arise. There is a way to date safely by using common sense. Being so trusting and naive can sorely backfire. Yes, have faith but learn how to play it safe. Protect yourself. Regrets are hard to live with. Better safe than sorry.
  2. Okay, wise guy, You would sing a different tune had your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, fiance, close friend or someone you knew within your midst were victims of sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape, date rape, sexual abuse against children, etc. because it all happens on the sly including your neighbors, fellow tenants, apartment building, suburbia, everywhere. There is no discrimination when it comes to committing crimes. It's hush-hush and not widely publicized for a reason. Criminals are sneaky. Never underestimate the power of no witnesses because this is how crimes are co
  3. If you don't like how it's going, he may not always "let" you leave. 😵
  4. A lot of guys look decent. Unfortunately, a lot of them also have the "Jekkyl and Hyde" personality. A lot of guys seem decent superficially, socially, in public and if you don't know them that well yet. Then, when you're with them in private, it's a different story. Beware. Never let your guard down.
  5. I only give second chances if the offense was minor and did not involve the following: lying, cheating, deceit, betrayal, chronic gaslighting and habitual, obnoxious disrespect and rudeness. I tend to give a lot of free passes if offenses are not egregious. If I happen to get lucky and receive amends with sincere apologies, then I definitely give second changes without constantly rehashing the past. Therefore, it's possible to move forward and heal relationships or friendships. If trust is dead and I encounter perpetrators, then I enforce very strong boundaries with them. I'm
  6. Note OP Marie29's, "nice guy" never bothered to contact her again after she declined to a date inside his apartment. He suddenly lost interest in her which says a lot. Sorry, I don't quite agree with you either. Unfortunately, I have a few girlfriends who've been victims of date rape after they thought they knew the guy from social settings and being with them in public several times. Granted, not all apartment encounters end up in date rape but unfortunately, it happens more often than we care to realize because you cannot prove it which is the problem. All you can do is live with it
  7. I think you dodged a bullet on this one. Beware of date rape. You can't prove it after the fact and his defense will be: "It was consensual." Either that, or he'll accuse you of being easy or a loose woman. Never be naive. It happens and there's nothing you can do about it once the dirty deed was done, unfortunately. 🙁 Always listen to your gut instincts and intuition because it's always correct. That little voice of reason is within the deep recesses of your brain for your safety's sake. Those are red flags and alarm bells sounding off for your own protection. Take heed. Bette
  8. Your sister doesn't have the right to ask "why?" because that's your business, you have your own reasons and you are under no obligation to explain "why?" Should you tell her that you want your own insurance policy, just do it. You don't require her permission. Tell her what you will do so she knows she will be uninsured and it's time to shop around for her own insurance policy. That's her problem, not yours. Don't be scared. Your sister is a grown adult and responsible for her own troubles. I agree, it is unhealthy for you to follow up constantly. She is NOT your child. A
  9. If he makes you uncomfortable whenever he contacts you and he dredges up bad memories for you, tell him that it's time to go your separate ways and request no contact. Hopefully, he'll respect and honor your wishes. If he doesn't, ignore, ghost, block and delete him.
  10. My wake up call was when I could no longer tolerate not having control over my life and it was intolerable to be treated with disrespect because I allowed others to do so. I had enough. I learned from experience that I cannot change people nor control them even in a positive way. All changes and control come from within such as you or me. Either do nothing and risk losing your boyfriend while keeping your family intact or have an independent mind and keep your boyfriend. You need to decide who comes first in your life? Your boyfriend or your family? Those are the sacrifices you need to
  11. It never hurts to be gracious and extremely brief. I do it all the time with people whom I don't feel particularly close to. It's called common courtesy and common decency. It's also called practicing good diplomacy. In this world, you don't have to love, hate nor like anybody but you can always possess politeness and good manners. You can always enforce healthy boundaries by taking this route. No harm no foul. I don't think you should've ignored it. A simple "thank you" was the right thing to do and leave it at that. You can be kind yet keep a safe distance. I do it all the ti
  12. It comes down to this: You have to choose either your boyfriend or your family. Definitely seek professional couples counseling. Yes, postpone marriage plans until you have these issues resolved. You need financial independence and have everything in your own name such as at least credit cards and insurance policies. It's sink or swim in this world. Everyone must figure out a way to survive on their own. You are not responsible for your family. They are grown adults and should be responsible for their own survival. Enforce healthy boundaries with your family
  13. Because he wants to control his relationship or friendship with you and only allow to reveal bits 'n pieces of his life; no more no less. He's not willing to share EVERYTHING about himself, his personal life, background, true feelings about what he thinks, his opinions about himself, his situation or people in his life past or present. He's hiding a a big part of himself. Perhaps it's too painful to discuss. He doesn't want to open that door. You've only been seeing him for 2 months. Give him a chance and more time. I'd say give him at least 2 more months. If you feel that h
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