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doughnutboy9

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  1. I don't know what the problem is then in that case. I don't know why I was so affected, but I know what I used to be like. I used to always be able to see light at the end of the tunnel, that's why I never took the medication. Things improve, some things worsen, but theres a pendulum to that where I could deal with it. As the years have gone on, I see no light anymore, I have an extremely hard time trusting people, my impression of humanity has worsened, and there's no daydreaming a better state of affairs that will make it better. There's nothing that comes into my mind as "yes, that's someth
  2. I'm tired of doctors. I had a therapist from 2015-2016, then another 2016-2018. Didn't know how to open up about this girl with my therapist when everything came down, but I knew nothing would change, therapy never helped, it always just made me feel like it helped. I was prescribed antidepressants for "bipolar" tendencies by my doctor in 2016 but I threw them out, I don't want that kind of artificial fix, one of my worst fears is become complacent with life and settling for less just because of something like a stupid serotonin drug. As for the girl, yes she does pressure me to se
  3. This is such a sensitive topic in my head, heart, and soul that I've never opened up to any friend or family member about how significant this girl meant to me. We (20 and 18 back then) were together for a year and a half and she broke up in 2018 initially because of distance (we were a state away, but I visited her pretty often). During some sort of breakdown in her personal life, she threw in the towel even after how positive and emotionally perfect the relationship was. She claimed she should be seeing someone closer and with less experience, and so we parted, I was so shocked and taken by
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