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HockeyFan

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  1. Well I left! After everything that has been going on since Friday night last week - she left to drop the kids off at school this morning and came home with groceries. She didn't hear me coming up the stairs and I saw her scramble to hide SOMETHING in the closet, then right after come and give me a big kiss to ask me how work was going! I walked over to the closet and said "YOu shouldn't just stuff your new jacket in the closet like that - we have a coat rack"...knowing full well what was going on....and sure enough the bottle of wine fell on the floor. I told her I was leaving, goi
  2. Well I'm pretty sure you already know the answer to that question. If she's obviously intoxicated and I see her attempt to drive somewhere of course I would step in. Just because I'm not comfortable with knowing she did that on Friday - what do I do after the fact? Call child services right now and put in a complaint? They will show up and do their due diligence and nothing will come of it. I can't police her - it's not my job to watch everything she does. She knows, after last Friday, that I'm done with asking if she has been drinking....she will drink. If I see that she's obviously in
  3. My dialing 911 brings her in for assessment. They determine if she's actually a danger to herself or others. Doing that today won't do anything - she isn't in that place right now and I'll be getting the call to come pick her up and take her home. Even if I did call 911 last Friday (and it's most likely what I'l end up doing next time this all happens) - then again, she goes in for assessment and kept there for three days while they do psychological tests to determine her state of mind. From there, she either goes on another waiting list or admitted (but she would have to be on the
  4. Yes, I do agree with you and it's that whole comment about a person needing to hit "rock bottom" before they are willing to make a change. Still - we see enough of those people who hit rock bottom and remain there, drinking while at rock bottom. Sorry, I need to clarify. She has made an effort and is trying to get help and these waiting lists she is on is because of Covid and there's just that many people looking for help. The other options we have is to venture out of town and pay 21K to get her in somehwere. Even when we were on the phone with the Crisis Line on Friday night s
  5. I know - and totally agree with you. It has been episodes of her trying to make me feel guilty because she feels distance between us. I don't even know how to answer that other than to speak the truth.
  6. Last Friday, after her first full week of not working, with kids back in school, and only minutes after we had one of our 'check point' talks about how she was feeling and doing, she went from the house to the liquor store and drank in the car while parked in the parking lot. Drink in the car before picking up her kids at school. It was obvious to me - it was our Friday night Pizza/Movie night with the kids and there she was sitting on the couch, unable to sit up straight or keep herself still. I watched as she tried to get food into her mouth, dropping it everywhere and stuffing it in
  7. I'm so sorry to hear what you experienced, Lost - but thank you so much for sharing as well. I spoke with my manager on Friday, as it was time for me to just give him a heads up about things on the home front and what we're working through. Not that I'll require any time off or it will effect my work performance - but just more as a heads up because I may need to take some time off here and there over the next little while and wanted him to know what was going on. After I told him what was happening at home, he told me that him and his wife have been going through alochol addiction w
  8. It would definitely be me moving - I wouldn't uproot her and the boys. There would be a lot of things to sort out, with her mom (who would be the one looking after a lot of things....who lives far far away from here....) *sigh*. Situation with her and I, her and the boys, her ex and her (and the boys), etc....
  9. One major thing I'm confused regarding what to do is regarding our living situation and finances. We have separate accounts, I e-transfer he money every two weeks to help pay for bills and groceries....I also look after certain bills, buy groceries and look after house costs. Part of the reason how these disorders came to light was looking at the money she's making/spending every month on top of the money I'm transferring her. Her credit cards and credit line were maxed and yet according to the household budget she should have no debt and be sitting pretty. Well of course not - bet
  10. Yikes, okay - firstly: I spent a few years studying Psychology in University, and as much as I did learn I'm by no means qualified to "fix" anybody. I was simply responding to Jibralta regarding my understanding of codependence. Secondly: "it's like telling someone with a brain tumour to stay lucid..." - statements like that aren't helping anybody. As much as I understand that my partners disorders are a disease, it's very different from a physical tumour growing in her brain. Please..... People will often only change and get the help they really need if and when they hit rock bot
  11. I totally understand, and yes - you're correct in suggesting that as a possibility. 🙂
  12. Oh ya, half of my degree is in pyschology and studied a lot about codependecy in abnormal psychology. If you're suggesting I'm codependent, no - that's not the case. But thank you for your suggestion. For almost four years my partner and I have been fantastic together. Since Covid started and we're both working from home, around each other every day and all day, you can't hide things from each other anymore. It was during this time I starting recognizing things and questioning them more. These disorders are hers and I'm here to get advice from those who have had experience w
  13. Sorry....posted before I finished. 🙂 So if she's hearing and getting nothing but positive feedback for putting on a few pounds - what makes her, the following week, binge and purge. She binges because it helps her deal with her thoughts/feelings at that moment in time. Then she feels guilty and shame so she purges. But if she needs to put on weight still - why purge? The shame trumps the need to keep that food in her to put on weight I guess. ?? We both have a lot to learn and figure out. Routines and schedules need to change - for both of us. For myself, I need to seek advice
  14. I forgot about that - but looking back at a lot of women I've met and dated, many had unhealthy ways of dealing with things. The support groups my partner is attending (she attended one yesterday) - it's so sad seeing how many people there are that have that disorder. It's something her and I talked a bit more about last night, after her meeting, as I too want to understand it better. It's something she has done on and off since she was a teenager and for the first time now has admitted it to herself, and her mother and I. Even just saying the word "bulimic" last night made her cringe but
  15. Haha - no no, that woman is long gone. I was dating her about a month or two before I met my now common law wife. 🙂
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