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About peabdysmermaid

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  1. Shae, I'd like to preserve my anonymity so Facebook wouldn't be a great option for me. But, to answer your question, things are pretty good =} She contacted me just over a year ago and I nearly fell over in gratitude. She is doing well, not perfect but she is healthy, has a good person in her life and is clearly working her butt off putting her life back together. She told me she has accepted that meds are required to manage her bipolar disorder. Sadly, so many suffer from the stigma around that. To me, she is taking the bull by the horns instead of avoiding the issue. She tells me it's made a
  2. Shae, I'd be happy to p/m you as I've given up on this board long ago. Despite some great constructive criticism as well as support, it had become sort of a Facebook style mishmash of knee-jerk commenting. Rather than constructive feedback, people weigh in with opinions without first putting in the time to read the full story. That's ok on Facebook, not in a place like I thought this was. Anyway, if you enable private messages I'd be happy to tell you about new developments there. BTW, if it's technically feasible I will delete this thread in about a week. Painful to see what I opened myself u
  3. I'm 45 my mildly mentally disabled brother is 47. Our mother and step dad are recently deceased. He's been living with them since we were kids and has never ever lived on his own. He drives, works a minimum wage job but everything else has been done for him. Watching his bank account, taking his car in when it needs service, cooking, making sure his insurance is paid. Taking up issues with his boss at work. He's never even had a bill in his name so no credit to his name. He is also an alcoholic and has no friends of his own. I won't go into the vast array of details that go into suddenly havin
  4. Thanks everyone for all the feedback whether it's critical or supportive. Thanks for not letting the criticism turn into a facebook style bashing [for the most part]. Civil critical opinions are hardly seen anymore these days so I wanted to add that. For the record, I am not looking for validation that I did the right or wrong thing. I hold myself accountable as a parent to a child, to a teenager and to her young adulthood heading out into the world. So many things I could have done better. But at this point in her adult life, she IS responsible for her own actions and I believe that 100%. Tha
  5. Been to therapy with my daughter YES. Time with her? Absolutely. Our backstory is chronicled in my previous posts. My daughter has never accepted what I had to offer her. She wanted what her grandparents offered her - money, cars, bailing her out of being evicted from apartment after apartment, bailing her out of credit card fraud, bailing her boyfriends out of jail. Each time I asked them to step out of the way so she could learn a lesson they said they would, agreed with me how wrong it was. Then I turn around find it happened again. Of course this became a bone of contention between she and
  6. Thank you. Yes she does know I love her. Money is certainly not the only kind of attention she's received from me but there's a very convoluted history between her, me and her grandmother [in my past posts if you're curious]. In her childhood there were inconsistencies. Regretfully she wasn't my priority early on [i did finally get a clue by the time she was 10 to start paying attention]. Her dad was absent and her grandparents helped raise her. She had a LOT of people around her who loved her, especially me. I own my shortcomings as a mother, no excuses. Taken the brunt of her anger directed
  7. hers: thanks for your reply. Yes it is true about the money. And for clarifying my misunderstanding with soosad. By admitting to my daughter what I saw, I guess I wanted her to know that I loved her anyway despite what I saw and despite our previous argument. Feeling stunned and numb but these feelings are mine to deal with. Her choices are hers. I don't want to change her or criticize her. I'm just afraid for her health. Thanks though, the words you gave were helpful. My issue is more about how to handle my panic. What she does is out of my control. Back to family therapy for me.
  8. thanks lavenderdove for your thoughtful reply. I'l take a look at that link. At the end of day, what concerns me most is her health and safety. Can't cope with the worry...
  9. soosad33: "Honestly, not sure I would have admitted I'd seen that stuff, being her 'parent'..." I'm sorry, why wouldn't i admit to it? This a forum to seek advice free of shame. I admit [if 'admit' is even the appropriate word here] I saw her porn because I am devastated and needed some advice in a forum designed for such things. Yes parent not 'parent' in parens. I didn't say I wanted her to answer to me. Yup she's using me. Thanks for the rest.
  10. Hi, My 24 yo daughter is in porn. I found her pseudonym online last night. She has posted hundreds of EXPLICIT shots of herself in the "act". I also found her pseudonym's twitter account where she posts daily about her "shoots" and how excited she is. According to her first post, she's been doing this for 2 years. Over those 2 years my husband and I have tried to give her a part time job with us which she flaked on constantly. Working with us she had learned advanced excel and office skills that I hoped she could apply to other more lucrative work. In the meantime I paid her rent and supplemen
  11. My problem isn't in recognizing what to do, it's anxiety over actually taking action. For years my 22 yo daughter has been leading her life in a very destructive way. She is a prolific liar, actively irresponsible and could care less about how her actions affect others around her not to mention she is draining any funds saved for her college fund. If I had not take great pains to provide direction, leading by example and tough love I'd not have been able to arrive at what I now if feel is very clear thinking on what needs to be done. I've been in therapy around this issue which has helped enor
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