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Tips for Dealing with Unrealistic/Oblivious Boss(es)


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I think you said the right thing. I would imagine you want them to expect quality work from you. And you are human, so you can only produce quality work when your workload is at or below a certain lev

Sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels to be with a company you care and work hard for but they ignore you every time you express or address your concerns/aspirations. I posted my work

Things are moving along with the potential new job... It's hard to wait. I just want out of my current job, now.

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2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

We don't have meeting after meeting, though. I'm lucky if I can get香蕉视频app网 a meeting.

3 hours ago, indea08 said:

I think Indea08 is implying an informal, "meeting."  Even if it's just in your head, rehashing things, you're having a meeting after the meeting kind of thing (it's abstract thinking).

I believe Indea08 is saying that it's not helpful in the longrun to rehash this drama or dwell on it.  It is what it is, and it sucks kind of thing.  Try to find ways to work around it without, "reliving it," by having a meeting after the meeting.

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10 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

香蕉视频app网 And this is what my boyfriend's parents tell me as well. They are entrepreneurs themselves. I know I should trust their judgment. It's not my company!! 

I know that the owners of my company care a lot about their company. They've been building it for eight years now, and it's at a critical point. They don't need me to do their caring for them!

香蕉视频app网 This is my opinion too. However, it's not practical for you as this situation triggers you. If you think this job is conducive to your career, I would say stay until you learn everything you can learn from there. I have observed that (usually) companies which give generous salaries do not have the best work environment. Ideally you want a job that pays a lot and has a good work environment which is hard to find. 

The only viable long-term "solution" is to learn to scan (somehow) the company and its people before you get hired. I always check all the reviews I can find online for a company. In other words, when you move to another company make sure your bosses are not like the ones you have now. You can never know beforehand 100% of course but you can increase the odds (like dating pretty much). 

Short-term I don't think there is a solution. Patience...

 

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香蕉视频app网 So for example -if they tell you no QC and you know QC step should not be skipped then say diplomatically -"I hear that you don't want to do QC because it will take longer but in my opinion it will take longer and be more stressful on the back end if we don't do QC and then there is an error that was missed" 

 

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1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

香蕉视频app网 So for example -if they tell you no QC and you know QC step should not be skipped then say diplomatically -"I hear that you don't want to do QC because it will take longer but in my opinion it will take longer and be more stressful on the back end if we don't do QC and then there is an error that was missed" 

I did.

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1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

I did.

If that’s truly how they operate, you have two options if you want to stay with the company. Do as they tell you to and make sure you have your objections documented and in your hand when they try to address an issue. Or, thank them for their suggestion and let them know you’re going to do it *this* way, because you don’t want to cause a repeat of *that* situation. If they don’t respond positively, remind them that they hired you because you know how to do the job effectively, because you were 100% on point when you mentioned that in your earlier response. 

Either way, you have to find a way to change YOUR behaviors (because you can’t change theirs) so that you can thrive in the environment you’re in. Otherwise, follow your happiness on down the road to a new opportunity!

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2 hours ago, dias said:

香蕉视频app网 I always check all the reviews I can find online for a company.

I did try, but there were actually no reviews for this company--probably because it was so small and the rotating contingent (the surveyors) don't generally post on glassdoor or indeed. 

2 hours ago, dias said:

If you think this job is conducive to your career, I would say stay until you learn everything you can learn from there.

That's the plan....

2 hours ago, dias said:

香蕉视频app网 I have observed that (usually) companies which give generous salaries do not have the best work environment. Ideally you want a job that pays a lot and has a good work environment which is hard to find. 

香蕉视频app网 Yesterday, my boyfriend said, "Struggle forces evolution." I think he's right. If nothing else, this experience will help to temper me. 

I've had nice cushy jobs with not-so-great pay, where the expectations are rarely unreasonable, responsibilities are very routine and monotonous. 

I left a job like that to go to my last job which, as you know, turned into a real struggle. I did that because I knew that I would never develop career-wise if I stayed in the cushy corporation. 

And boy, at times I have really missed that cushy company and my former managers and teammates. But I still don't regret leaving. I still feel like leaving was the right choice. The only choice.

Sometimes I think, Once I get where I want to be, maybe I'll go back there. Or to a company like that.香蕉视频app网 It's sort of a joke that I have with myself, because my vision for my career is completely opposite. 

2 hours ago, dias said:

Short-term I don't think there is a solution. Patience...

Yes... I'm impatient to become more patient!!

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Sorry you're going through this, Jibralta. Since you are already journaling, you might consider channeling that writing into something preventative--meeting notes that you send via email to clarify a given manager's position. This practice has protected me on every project during 20+ years of consulting with various incompetent or unethical bosses, and it only takes minutes to COA.

-----
Hello ____,
Just a note to summarize our discussion this morning and to clarify my next steps on the issue of ___ on the ___ account.

I presented the following issue: ______

I offered the following options:
1) ____, which has the advantage of ____, but I voiced concerns about ____.
2) ____, which may not be as advantageous in terms of ___, but it addresses my concerns about ____.

You've approved Option 1 and view possible negative outcomes as negligible. So, as discussed, I have begun our work on this option, and I will keep you apprised.

Thanks,
香蕉视频app网 Jibralta.

-----

香蕉视频app网 Anything that hits the fan afterward is less likely to bring you trouble, because the manager is aware that you've documented it prior. However, if he or she needs a reminder after coming out sideways on you, you can forward the email with the timestamp, and cc anyone else involved in the admonishment.

This professionalism tends to warn people that they can't set you up, so they tend to avoid targeting you as a scapegoat.

Once you put stuff in writing, your emotions will find better stuff to focus on.

Head high.

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香蕉视频app网 Thanks catfeeder. I do communicate my concerns. The example that you've given here is a very direct, concise way of laying things out, and I will put it to use. I am always looking for new ways to catch their attention.

The problem is that they tend to ignore emails (and texts and phone calls) that they don't want to deal with. And when they do look at them, they tend to minimize the problems. That's why it's soooo frustrating香蕉视频app网--normal preventative measures don't work.

There was a situation not long ago where I did everything but parade up and down the street with a bugle and a drum to inform them that trouble was a-comin. They ignored and minimized, the crisis ended up in my lap (which ultimately meant sleeping in the office!!!), and the bosses did not want to hear "I told you so." They just wanted it fixed. 

Another situation arose this past week, where a rush project was dropped on my lap on a Friday and Kasey (one of the owners) wanted it the same day. Impossible. I got her to push the deadline to Monday and worked on it the whole weekend. Then on Sunday night, Kasey made changes. Well, that killed the Monday deadline. I got Kasey to push the project back to Tuesday. Another girl, Dinah, worked on the project with me. Kasey sent Dinah changes all throughout Monday and Tuesday. So, the Tuesday deadline became impossible, as well. Dinah and I got on a meeting early Wednesday morning to wrap up the project, and an email comes through from Kasey reprimanding us for blowing the deadlines, not coordinating, and not 'working smart'. I wanted to punch Kasey in her stupid idiot face for not 'being smart'. I'd still like to do that, actually.

香蕉视频app网 There have really only been these two situations, but I get so angry when I think about them. I'm working hard for them and their negligence is damned inconsiderate.

But the bottom line is, I'm not going to teach them anything. I'm resolved to that. I give up. My goal is learning deal with the situation that I'm in. Not becoming so fricking angry over it. I'm not ready to leave the company yet. So, I'm really looking for ways to cope with my own feelings (of RAGE lol!!!!).

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Sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels to be with a company you care and work hard for but they ignore you every time you express or address your concerns/aspirations. I posted my work issue on here (2 yrs ago). Also my old boss was notorious for not reading my emails too 😒 If I brought up I emailed her a few days ago, I got this look from her like "I don't monitor my inbox because I'm so busy." 

香蕉视频app网 You feel valueless, slighted, and hopeless! Like everyone told me, I had to stop taking things at work personally - I get it. But it was hard to separate work from me. What I found out was that I am just one of those people who care a lot their job and my work ethic is strong and working with inconsiderate and lousy bosses was bad for me - mentally and emotionally. I hated going home crabby no matter how much I love my home. Some people can compartmentalize their emotions, but I just can't. My only option was to leave. So when I started searching for jobs, I was low-key about it. I didn't tell my boss or my coworkers (they're all friends of mine) and even though I was going in to interviews, I was trying to get a feel for the interviewer by asking what kind of boss are they and if I had an issue, how would they like me to present it. As much as we all have our work style, writing style - people also have their own boss style. I've worked with a lot of bosses so I had an idea what worked for me. I say when you go to the interviews, don't be afraid to ask questions about the management style there. Gives you an idea what to expect working under the person.

Do what's right for you. If you want to hold off to gain some more skills to buff up your resume, great. Patience is a virtue. But don't overstay. 香蕉视频app网Usually this type of work environment does NOT get better when its from top to bottom. 

I know I overstayed but it worked out in the end. I got an offer to a higher paying job with upward mobility every two yrs (I didn't have that at my old job). My new boss is exactly the boss she presented herself to be at the interview (supportive, open communication, ethical and diligent). Now my old coworkers want to leave and they're still working at the dungeon office while I'm enjoying WFH! 😊

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After last night's meeting, we came away with a bunch of overlapping deadlines. Kasey sent a summary email and asked me to provide my thoughts about breaking up the work. I responded and told her I was concerned that there would be gridlock, that things wouldn't get done, and/or they wouldn't get done right.

香蕉视频app网 I knew I was stressed out, but I could no longer tell how I felt. I was numb. I didn't sleep well. I didn't get up like I sometimes do. I just laid there waiting for exhaustion to finally overtake me, and it did. But I kept jolting awake and thinking about work. I thought this was weird. 

香蕉视频app网 When I woke up this morning, I had a response from Kasey, "We have to meet these deadlines so it’s a matter assigning resources, which can be done - there is Mike and Carl as well. Let’s discuss briefly tomorrow." Then she gave some reasons why this was not a big deal.

So, I wrote a big long email to her. 

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This is the main content of my email:

It's the overlapping deadlines that I'm worried about.

I'm worried about the issues that will cut into productivity time: questions from people that can literally eat an hour of time at one sitting, the constant shifting of gears and interruptions of concentration while trying to simultaneously produce and coordinate on three unrelated projects at once. Technical issues-- For example, the fact that no matter the software, Dinah must copy everything to her hard drive and work from there (This adds the additional step of copying/linking the files that she works on into the main files). 

Of course there can be improvements. We are a relatively new team all working together for the first time, all with different software backgrounds. There has to be improvement as we get to know each other's working styles, capabilities, and knowledge levels. There will be improvement. But every improvement can't happen at once as we try to jam as many projects as possible down the pipeline. It's going to be gridlock and something is going to go wrong. Maybe lots of things. 

Your timeline and your budget are very important to me. I hope you realize that. It's why I worked 18 hours in one day and then spent the night on the couch in the office last month. It's why I spent my whole weekend putting a project in a program that I knew would make our lives simpler, and then worked 20 more hours over the next two days to help get everything done--only to be chastised for not "working smart." 

What I did last week was hard work and it was smart work. It was the fastest way to simultaneously produce accurate, useful drawings and wrap my head around a project that I'd never seen before. A project that was dropped on my lap without warning when I thought I had my next week's agenda planned out. The cost of abruptly shifting gears like that is time. 

I'm not dawdling or daydreaming. I'm not incompetent. I actually work many extra hours for you that I do not even bother to log. I do what needs to be done. And I happen to be very good at what I do. I also care very much about what I do. I just cannot achieve the impossible. It's unsustainable. There are other parts of my life that need my attention. 

I realize that you and Simon are working very hard to grow your business. I understand the growing pains of expanding exponentially and also winning work to support that growth. I get that you and Simon can't be around for every issue. But I hope that you listen to this one because you have people here who are on your side and who want you to succeed. 

Now I'm going to jump on the project and get those garage plans out to you.

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She ended up calling me. In a stern voice, she told me that I'm not alone and that I'm not expected to do everything by myself. There are people around to help me. It has to be a team effort. Everybody is a part of the company and everyone should feel that way.

香蕉视频app网 She was she wouldn't have hired me if she didn't think I was capable. She also said that she was giving me the scheduling information because trying to move me into the project management position, not because she expected me to do everything. 

香蕉视频app网 She gave me a couple suggestions on how to delegate the work, and I ended up following those suggestions. Once I did, I felt so much better. I do feel like a bit of an ass for freaking out, but there's nothing I can do about it now. 

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香蕉视频app网 Good work. I like it. I would exclude the "I am not incompetent". It's a given you are not. 

Hopefully things will change for the better. To be honest I doubt your bosses will change now so I believe you would have to send similar emails from time to time. 

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4 minutes ago, dias said:

I would exclude the "I am not incompetent".

Yeah, she was none too pleased by that. There were probably a couple other things that it would have been better not to say. Fortunately, I didn't say anything atrocious.

I usually sleep on it before I send an email like this. But I was in a rush to get it out before the day started in full force. I had my boyfriend look it over before I hit send, and that was it. He was half asleep, poor guy. 

香蕉视频app网 I'm gonna sleep good tonight!

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1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

Yeah, she was none too pleased by that. There were probably a couple other things that it would have been better not to say. Fortunately, I didn't say anything atrocious.

I usually sleep on it before I send an email like this. But I was in a rush to get it out before the day started in full force. I had my boyfriend look it over before I hit send, and that was it. He was half asleep, poor guy. 

I'm gonna sleep good tonight!

香蕉视频app网 I just don't think ... that when you're working with people like this...

that emails like that work.

It just makes them angrier. 

Even though you're right (!!!)....  The very fact that you ARE right, just makes them angrier.

I'm so sorry Jibralta... be careful though, they really may start to see you as the, "problem," and then figure out how to make your life more miserable (to make you quit) or just fire you.

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11 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

香蕉视频app网 they really may start to see you as the, "problem," and then figure out how to make your life more miserable (to make you quit) or just fire you.

Nah, I always do this when there's a complicated problem. Most people aren't pure evil like that. They are genuinely interested in solving problems. And even if they were evil, I'd still do it. I have to try. It has to be said. There's no way I'm going to flinch around and cower in a corner. I'd honestly rather be fired. 

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5 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Nah, I always do this when there's a complicated problem. Most people aren't pure evil like that. They are genuinely interested in solving problems. And even if they were香蕉视频app网 evil, I'd still do it. I have to try. It has to be said. There's no way I'm going to flinch around and cower in a corner. I'd honestly rather be fired. 

香蕉视频app网 Yes but being fired is not fun, even when you're right, it still looks awful. 

It's much harder to get hired again after coming to heads with bosses like this and getting fired.  People interviewing you will tend to believe there's truth in your old bosses' complaints (and don't think they won't use things like this email blow up against you I'm sure).  It's bad for your long-term game of trying to get experience and a great resume, in my opinion. 

香蕉视频app网 I've found Lost's way of handling it to be better if you want to keep your job, or keep it longer and look for another one on the sly.  

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Found out this morning that a client COMPLETELY changed a project that is due this Friday. I worked on it all of last week in order to get it to a point where it would be ready by then. 

This is why I don't check my work email over the weekend!!! 😂😂😂

香蕉视频app网 I wish there was a crazy person emoji!!

The structural guy is taking it way worse than I am. At least I'm not alone in this! 😂

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