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Tips for Dealing with Unrealistic/Oblivious Boss(es)

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So, now to put the pay cut into perspective.

It doesn't really affect me. I mean, it feels like a kick in the teeth. But at this point, it's just a gesture. A big, "I Don't Appreciate You," from Simon to me. 

First, let's factor out that stupid carrot that they dangled in front of me, where I supposedly might be able to have my full salary restored in June. Let's just write that off as Not Happening.

This is week 8 of 2021. There are 44 weeks left in the year. If I slog through and complete the next 44+ weeks at this company, I will have taken the pay cut. 

香蕉视频app网 But I don't plan to be here much longer. So that reduces the impact of the pay cut quite significantly. Ideally, I'll be out of here in 2 weeks. Maybe it will take more like a month or two months (please, god, no). But it's still not 44+ weeks.

And yes, I would definitely consider a lower salary when selecting my next job. But I don't put that in the same category as this one, somehow. 

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I think you said the right thing. I would imagine you want them to expect quality work from you. And you are human, so you can only produce quality work when your workload is at or below a certain lev

香蕉视频app网 Sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels to be with a company you care and work hard for but they ignore you every time you express or address your concerns/aspirations. I posted my work

Things are moving along with the potential new job... It's hard to wait. I just want out of my current job, now.

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6 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I had a pretty sleepless night last night. It's funny, because at around 7PM, I felt exhausted. And after the day I'd just had, I wasn't surprised. I thought for sure I'd sleep like a rock. But my mind kept spinning, as often happens during times like this.

So, I got up and started posting around on here. When I was looking something up in my journal, I noticed this post from just over a week ago:

And it just drives home Arnold's point so much more. No wonder I've felt this way. Simon has truly been using my work ethic against me. Deliberately ignoring and minimizing the value of every extra effort, and every extra hour that I put in.

He's onto something there. Somebody like me always tries to solve problems. The harder the problem, the harder I try. I feel a great sense of satisfaction when I succeed--a solved problem is its own reward. I don't actually know what to do when I can't solve a problem...

As an adult, in a professional setting, I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I've been totally powerless to solve a problem. The feeling is not pleasant. It kicks me into a weird kind of overdrive. It makes me try harder and harder in this blind, desperate sort of way, like I have no brain, only reactions.

香蕉视频app网 I bet that Simon thinks that I'm desperate for his approval. How bizarre. He truly does not respect me. 

I know that I do tend to want to overachieve, but it's not because I give half a fck about him or anybody else. It's because it's my hobby. I simply enjoy the feeling of success. If he thinks that he can cash in on my little compulsion, and lead me around by it as he would lead a bull by its nose, I'll just adjust my coping mechanism. I'm not a fcking bovine.


香蕉视频app网 I know you're not Christian, but there's a Bible verse that literally warns not to, "cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them (the pearls) and then turn and tear you to pieces...."  With some people, I know it sounds awful, but they literally are not capable of appreciating something of value... like a pearl, or wise advice, or someone who works and solves things and is actually trying to help their company.  

香蕉视频app网 When you cast your pearls before someone like that, a swine unfortunately as it's called, you're allowing them to harm you because you watch them trample your pearls under their feet (he doesn't care) and then they actually may turn and try to harm you.  When they demote your pay... that's turning everything around and harming you.

You responded perfectly to it.  Letting it go psychologically is basically the only way you can come out of this well and with more lessons learned I think.

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17 hours ago, Jibralta said:


香蕉视频app网 It's crazy, because I literally like all of the people who work there. The bosses just aren't accountable.



Yep, I was friends with everyone at my old job including my bosses. The ones that were playing office politics were people I've dined and drank with, met their families a handful of times (for four plus years). The bosses that listened to me but did nothing - I still like all these people. I just don't like their work style that have perpetuated a broken working culture.

This type of work culture is a constrained work environment. People who want to grow because they know they can perform better in other areas (me) or people who like to problem solve (like you) will never thrive in constrained work environments. That to me, has always been a top to bottom problem. I know people are going to say "Hmm that's everywhere you go." No it's not. That mentality people have is also why people stay in these sh8t places.

In the end, if you have crappy bosses who don't want to manage, bosses who don't want to hear any criticism, bosses who arent open to change, bosses who don't care about their employees' mental state, bosses who lack the foresight - the work culture will suffer and work isn't work any more. It's a toilet hole environment. 

香蕉视频app网 I would just be happy your time there is coming to an end and just keep thinking about that and not focus on anything else.



Edited by LootieTootie
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3 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

香蕉视频app网 I know you're not Christian, but there's a Bible verse that literally warns not to, "cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them (the pearls) and then turn and tear you to pieces...."

Actually, I am Christian--I'm Greek Orthodox. But I'm not very devout. I love the beautiful churches, though, with their incense, candles, and chanting. My boyfriend is Jewish. But he's not very devout, either.

香蕉视频app网 I've heard of this saying before. I always thought of it more as "don't waste your time because the person is incapable of appreciating what is before them." But now I see the more sinister side. Yeah, they harm.


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香蕉视频app网 Today was quite an emotional roller coaster. After my morning meeting, I just felt deflated. Nothing bad happened, sht was just starting to sink in. 

My boyfriend came over and sat with me. He suggested I quit my job today and relax for a few weeks while I hunted for a new job. I considered quitting and felt instantly better! Then I decided not to quit because just thinking about it made me feel better.

I called my mom and told her about my pay cut. My mom can be a little weird. She never really took my side when I was a kid, and even though she's gotten so much better with age, I still half expect her to blame me.

But she didn't blame me. She was really angry at Simon and Kasey, and felt totally sympathetic towards me. It felt good to tell on my boss to my mom. My mom has really intense anger. I hope Simon felt it a little.

I told her that Arnold told me to quit today, and she said, "But you're not like that. You see things through to the end." I guess I was kind of hoping she would say, "That's a good idea."

香蕉视频app网 I had to drive out to the satellite office because I thought I forgot my notebook there. I didn't want it to fall into the hands of Kasey or Simon. There isn't anything terrible in it, but I've definitely written "fck these people" in my notes during a couple morning meetings.... no need for them to see that lol. 

I packed up all of my personal belongings at the office yesterday and brought them home with me. Even though my notebook turned out not to be there, it was good to go back and scan the place for anything that I might have forgotten. 

The work backdrop of all of this was me waiting to get a revised grading plan so that I could begin working on it. So, for 3 hours, I had nothing to do. Which doesn't look good for me, even though it's actually Simon and Kasey's fault. Which means it's my香蕉视频app网 fault lol.

I did email Simon and Kasey to see if there was anything else I could be doing, and I got one of Simon's maddening replies that somehow didn't let me off the hook for somebody else not having the drawings ready. But this is the backdrop that I have become accustomed to, so no big thing there.

I traded messages with Bill during the early part of the morning, basically about nothing, trying to nail him down to a time for a phone call. This was the real tension of the day. Finally, around noon, he gave me a time:


I thought that the 2:15 time posed a problem, because I was supposed to host a technology meeting during that hour. But I decided I'd come up with some family emergency and excuse myself from the meeting when he called.

Then I realized the technology meeting wasn't until 3PM, which was a relief. Then my coworker who owed me the grading plan tried to schedule a meeting with me for 3PM--the funny thing was, almost everybody who was invited to the technology meeting was in the project meeting. I urged him not to hijack our technology meeting, but he didn't respond.

As 2:15 approached, my anticipation increased. I didn't think the call with Bill would last more than 45 minutes, but it could. Then 2:30 rolled around, and Bill didn't call. Then 2:45 rolled around and no Bill. I tried texting him. No response. I tried to check LinkedIN and the fricking site was down!!

I was really stressed now. Then I tried to print the grading plan and it wouldn't print. Then I started the technology meeting and nobody joined.* Then my coworker rescheduled his香蕉视频app网 meeting for 3:45 - 4:45, so it would be another 2 hours before I could possibly talk to Bill.

But I did eventually talk to Bill. It was a really good conversation. But I still have to wait. 😭


香蕉视频app网 *They did eventually straggle in, but it felt really crappy on top of being stood up by Bill and not being able to print.

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