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So, I (20 F) have been in a relationship for 4 years now and from the last 2 years its been a long distance relationship. My partner(20 M) is in the military and is undergoing training from the last 2 years and he has more 2 years of training left. So, as he is in his training period he is not allowed electronics which means he can't text or call or video call and he is also not allowed to come out of his training camp before the training camp is over. So, we just talk once a week for 10 mins as he gets to use the local phone for 10 mins once a week (but sometimes he calls once in two weeks and sometimes once in a month). And in the 2 years of LDR we met only twice.

But , last year I met another guy and i felt attracted to him and wanted to date the other guy. But, it did not work out with the other guy so i cut full contact with him. I was really guilty so I confessed this to my military guy and he forgave me and said lets move on. But, currently I feel attracted to another guy but I do not want to do the same mistake again so I avoid talking to him.

But now I feel like I want to breakup. I feel i just can't handle this anymore. Everything has changed from before. I was more happier before and now I just cry most of the times. Even after his training is over there is only a 10% chance we would be in the same city. (because our careers are different). So, it may be a long distance for many more years.

I have seen that in military life girls have to be housewives most of the times and give up their careers or they have to be a single mother because the husband is far from home. And I don't want such a life. So, I am really confused I don't understand should I break up or not. I talked about all this to him he says that he doesn't want to break up, he says that I don't have to give up my career and dreams. He says it is his gut feeling everything will work out. (I feel he says all this so that I don't leave him).

香蕉视频app网 So, i am really confused if i should breakup because i feel i may regret it as he is a really great guy and he is like my best friend he cares a lot for me and really respects me, I sometimes feel I may not find someone like him. 

Any advice or experience you can share would be helpful 🙂

 

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香蕉视频app网 You've been in this relationship since you were both 16.  Even without the military factor it's highly unlikely you'd marry him anyway given you both haven't had any real experience with anyone other than each other (not counting your fling).

香蕉视频app网 Being attracted to other men is your instincts trying to tell you something.  Listen to them.

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Hello,

This is really great that he is in military, because I have some friends from military and these boys are really amazing. You have to wait and once he is out of training you both can discuss about your future. Don't decide or assume yourself. Ask yourself what you really wants and then move.

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9 hours ago, boltnrun said:

You've been in this relationship since you were both 16.  Even without the military factor it's highly unlikely you'd marry him anyway given you both haven't had any real experience with anyone other than each other (not counting your fling).

Being attracted to other men is your instincts trying to tell you something.  Listen to them.

I second the above.  Great post. 👍

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12 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Military spouse of 32 years here. Please break up if you can’t handle the lifestyle. You are doing yourself and him a disservice. 

Hey, Thanks for your suggestion.

If possible, could you tell me how is the life of a Military spouse (like what are the challenges)? And did you ever feel like giving up? or did you ever feel attracted to someone else in his absence? did you have to sacrifice your dreams? If, so how did you overcome these problems?

Your experience would be helpful for me in taking my decision.

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4 hours ago, midnightSun said:

Hey, Thanks for your suggestion.

香蕉视频app网 If possible, could you tell me how is the life of a Military spouse (like what are the challenges)? And did you ever feel like giving up? or did you ever feel attracted to someone else in his absence? did you have to sacrifice your dreams? If, so how did you overcome these problems?

香蕉视频app网 Your experience would be helpful for me in taking my decision.

I had dreams of what I wanted to do and be, but after I met my husband I didn’t care. I realized that family was a permanent thing and careers and dreams are more fleeting. I also wanted to be a mom. Some thing I have learned is that jobs won’t be there for you during a hard time and jobs will forget you 30 seconds after you leave. Family not necessarily. Especially todays  companies are only concerned with the bottom dollar. They are not overly concerned with employees. 
 

Was I ever attracted it to anybody else and wanted to leave? Nope. 
 

Finding employment can sometimes be difficult but I just created my own at times. The key is to network and integrate yourself into the fabric of your new society. 
 

Was it hard to parent alone sometimes for years at a time? Yes, but you’re not truly alone because you have that person‘s income and that person‘s input. 
 

香蕉视频app网 Did I ever want to give up ? Eh,maybe fleetingly, but never in my heart . We adore each other . Another 8 more years and he will be 60 and we will be done our military journey. 

Edited by Seraphim
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