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Am I reading too much into this?


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So, something bizarre happened the other day that actually left me feeling happy and smiling for the next hour. So, visit a cafe regularly to buy things and guy on the counter used to chat with me ask how am I doing today etc. He is always very sweet and I like chatting with him. Couple of days I could not go there due to long working hours, and I was walking past just before they were closing. It appeared that he somehow noticed me walking past from far inside of the shop, and ran to the door to say, "he can still make my drink". Without realising this, I continued walking few yards and not sure why, but I turned back. We both smiled and he asked why I turned back, I had not answer but something told me to turn back. He made a drink for me on the house and probably the best hot chocolate I had in years. To give some background, we don't know each others name or number. We are from very different cultures and being a girl I'm taller than him (although height doesn't matter to me) . I've been a regular to the cafe and he could probably be friendly with all customers - I'm not sure. Am I reading too much into this? Is he also interested in me as I am? 

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

He seems friendly and flirty. However he may not be able to hit on customers because of work policies.

If you have a crush on him you could try giving him your number.

Thanks @Wiseman2 you are always there for my rescue 🙂 but do men think less of a woman who is so forward? And honestly, I do not have the courage for it and rejection is hard for me. 

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香蕉视频app网 He might be interested in flirting with you -if he is interested in dating you he will ask you out.  If he is not allowed to because of his work he'll probably leave this to a flirtation.  I would not give him your name or number unless he asks - he might get in trouble if his boss overhears.  

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10 minutes ago, kim42 said:

He seems to be interested, you could give him your phone number or Instagram, and see if he reaches out. 

If I do that and if he finds that weird (or if he was friendly to be like he would to any other nice customers) then I'd miss my cafe 😞 there isn't much around here.  

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3 hours ago, TanyaJo said:

but do men think less of a woman who is so forward? 

香蕉视频app网 If a man thinks less of you because you ask a question, that is not the kind of man you want. 

香蕉视频app网 You could ask him what he's up to after his shift ends and if he'd like to hang out. It leaves it open ended and the ball is on his court. If he doesn't want to or says he has a gf, that's all there is to it. Don't overthink it. Good luck.  

 

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I have an update: I went for a coffee today and it was as usual, he asked me how my day was and I said 'nothing exciting, I might go for a walk...sad life (being valentines day today)... maybe I'll drink and passout infront of TV' for which he laughed. There was an other lady at the counter joining in the chat about oat milk etc then it got detour and I left 😞

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27 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

What does detour mean?  I mean this is just me -as a first impression I would not share about being lonely and getting drunk alone -even as a joke.  Does he reference drinking a lot?

oh! detour meaning the topic got diverted between a female barista, me and him about oat milk.. No, he didn't say that, I did for being alone on a v-day as a joke and I believe he took it as a joke too coz he laughed. 

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5 hours ago, TanyaJo said:

do men think less of a woman who is so forward?

This isn't ALL men. This is A man. He's an individual just like you are. Get to know him.

4 hours ago, TanyaJo said:

If I do that and if he finds that weird (or if he was friendly to be like he would to any other nice customers) then I'd miss my cafe 😞 there isn't much around here.

香蕉视频app网 Don't get ahead of yourself! Try to relax. This is not a catastrophic situation.

香蕉视频app网 Be yourself, be friendly. At this point, he's just a cute acquaintance. Treat him like you would treat any friend. Get to know him and decide from there what will happen.

You're not heading into instant marriage and instant divorce. Take your time. 

Edited by Jibralta
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Be approachable and interested.  An acquaintance of mine had a side gig a few years ago at a local restaurant.  One of her coworkers -a waiter - pursued her. Less than a year later she was expecting her fourth child - so now they have a toddler and are still together. So lol be careful what you wish for!!

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Well I think if this guy is the actual owner of the cafe then often the owner is really friendly to customers to keep them coming back. But if he's not the owner but just staff, he's possibly interested. Though I wonder why when you said you're single and alone on Valentine's Day, he didn't say anything? Like, didn't say: "I'll be your date then" or anything along those lines? I realise the other waitress was there too though. I actually feel fine about giving a guy my number but if he's not actually interested, will you have to go to a new cafe? Coz if you really like this particular cafe it might be a bit risky if it becomes awkward with this guy. But if you don't mind if you got rejected, or you can go to a different cafe, I'd say just give him your number.

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7 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

香蕉视频app网 Well I think if this guy is the actual owner of the cafe then often the owner is really friendly to customers to keep them coming back. But if he's not the owner but just staff, he's possibly interested. Though I wonder why when you said you're single and alone on Valentine's Day, he didn't say anything? Like, didn't say: "I'll be your date then" or anything along those lines? I realise the other waitress was there too though. I actually feel fine about giving a guy my number but if he's not actually interested, will you have to go to a new cafe? Coz if you really like this particular cafe it might be a bit risky if it becomes awkward with this guy. But if you don't mind if you got rejected, or you can go to a different cafe, I'd say just give him your number.

No, he is not the owner and he actually travels for an hour everyday to get to job and he often says he is way too tired around 3.00pm, but still manages to be cheerful and be nice to me. You are right! I was a little disappointed that he didn't say anything forward when I said I had nothing much to do on the valentines day. I don't really know if he has a family/girl friend etc. He said something like, "people are in worse situations without jobs etc and you should cheer up and see what you have got and feel lucky etc" It was very platonic but the other day he was "take care, be safe, stay warm etc..." in front of like a row of customers who were actually all looking at us. 

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12 hours ago, TanyaJo said:

. He said something like, "people are in worse situations without jobs etc and you should cheer up and see what you have got and feel lucky etc" 

香蕉视频app网 He's right. Try not to complain to him. Have your chitchat and niceties, but spare people too much complaining.

香蕉视频app网 Probably best to rethink the strategy of complaining in order to signal that you are single.

香蕉视频app网 However. His response clearly indicates he's not interested.

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

He's right. Try not to complain to him. Have your chitchat and niceties, but spare people too much complaining.

香蕉视频app网 Probably best to rethink the strategy of complaining in order to signal that you are single.

香蕉视频app网 However. His response clearly indicates he's not interested.

香蕉视频app网 When his manager is watching him while we had that chat? That would have been very bold. 

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On 2/14/2021 at 3:58 AM, TanyaJo said:

He made a drink for me on the house

香蕉视频app网 In my opinion, that signals he is interested. Making a drink on the house, especially when he's not the manager? Interested. To what degree, time will show.

My rec, skip any possible Debbie Downer comments (I'm bored, no plans for Vday) and be more of your awesome fun self! 🙂香蕉视频app网 How about going to the coffee shop when there's a lull (and obviously he's working)? There's usually a lull at some point during the day.

 

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